domingo, 8 de junho de 2008

DEVANEIOS

Yey, I am needing alcohol.. and to coffee. Yeah, using a different word. I am needing to coffee at all. And alcohol, of course. It'd be cool if I could twist both. Can I? I mean, have ever you twisting coffee and alcohol? But not coffee, coffee, coffee meaning what I want to mean, what I need to. Yeah, I seem a little bit annoying and confused... and complicated. But this is it. That's what my life is. Complicated... and confused and a little bit annoying. I mean, most of the time. Well, ok, most part of the time. And I used to handle so well with this, what I've lost? What have I done? Why can't I just put it by my side and just move on? In life, we can just move on? Well, even thinking that we just can, I know we don't. There's a lot of things in my life that I just could move on when I kind of finish it. With a hug, with a word. With a fight. But it's not like that anymore. I mean, there's things that I can't even tell myself what is. Or I even want to recognize what the truth is about, you know? It's hard when you keeping lying for yourself. And when I say yourself I mean myfuckingself, you know? It's hard because you don't know what the hell is really going on. And why? Why? It's just because we don't want to see it. I don't. But, this is something usual. I mean, almost everything in my life (I can't extend it for all of you just because I don't know if it's true) becomes usual. I mean it. The suffering thing, the disappointment, everything. Everyone. Every single chance that I get to meet a new person I really am too stupid that I keep thinking that's going to be different, not everyone is exactly the same, but then I know the real faces, the real, the reality. And I am not glad, not even closer. So, I should get back to my world, where I stay listening to my prefered bands, my favourites tv shows and movies and then to my cold heart. Yeah, my big, stranger and gray heart. Just like Trent Reznor wrote once: "gray would be the color if I had a heart...".

Um comentário:

starf***er disse...

Ahm... Yeah, I have already twisted coffee with alcohol.. like irish coffee.. and like.. well.. you know what I mean... alcohol and that kind of coffee is also great. Or better.
And all the text left me with a huge desire of a hug. Or maybe the text is just an excuse, since I'm wanting that hug for a long, long time, and early morning I told you that.
So, that's it. I want a sip of alcohol, a cup of coffee, and most of all, I want you (and Lennon goes on: I want you soooo baaaaad, it's driving me mad) And no, Trent, I don't think I want something I can never have. I've already had, I just don't want to let it slip away once again.
Take care yourself.
A hug and a kiss until we fall asleep.